Life is a Chaos

For every person there come those days when you just sit and look back. When I have days like this, I end up with the fact that life is completely unpredictable. This sounds like a total chlishé but I really feel like I need to talk about this.


For quite a long time I felt like guys don't look at me seriously. I felt like they just wanted to have fun and that was it.  And trust me, that's not only in my head. The last time I had a boyfriend was thousands of years ago (yeah, we had a romantic dinner in a cave). But for all this time I really missed that. I felt lonely, unloved, barren... that lasted till this Monday.


Yesterday I went on a second date. Everything was perfect! I finally feel like this guy really appreciates me. He does everything perfectly! The first date was exactly how I wanted it to be: we went to a café, talked a lot, then went for a walk, he bought me a red rose and kissed me on a cheek saying goodbye. He didn't rush anywhere. He does everything right.

That makes me even more upset. I feel like I am freaking out. What's wrong with me? I got what I wanted but I don't feel happy... Damn! Life is just too confusing sometimes!But still, I promised myself to give us a try. I really have to do this or otherwise I will regret for the rest of my life. 

Life is a Chaos, isn't it?

Be loved.

G